Nobody is Perfect

When I was younger, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, especially when I was a teenager. With wisdom has come much clarity and acceptance that perfection is an illusion. What a relief to not have to be perfect! I know as a teenager, there may seem like a lot of pressure to be perfect. There are pressures from parents and teachers to do well in school and peer pressures to fit in. I remember as a teen, feeling like somehow I never measured up to my own high expectations or my perception of what was expected of me. It made me feel pretty bad most of the time. Be realistic however.....how many adults do you know who are perfect? You will not find one, because it is just not possible. Sure, you might find judgemental adults who tell you everything you are doing wrong, but they are not perfect, they are just being critical. Often, the most critical adults are perfectionists, who are incredibly hard on themselves and everyone around them. When you can begin to see the adults around you as imperfect individuals, filled with their own insecurities, you can begin to see yourself more clearly as well. Trust me, nobody is perfect! I teach a class called "Clear Your Clutter" yet my desk, car and garage have been known to be cluttered. The upside of a cluttered trunk in my mini-van is that I always have my hiking shoes and backpack ready for a spontaneous hike and can find spare clothes for the kids in a pinch. I have incredible patience, but.....after my three kids have been screaming and fighting incessantly, I can even lose it once in awhile. I am a Psychotherapist and I am always behind on my paperwork and billing. I somehow manage to juggle what seems like a million things and once in awhile, something gets missed. We have missed several homework assignments, because I did not look thoroughly through the endless paperwork that comes home in the kids backpacks. Thank you cards for kids birthday parties may or may not get out. I did streamline that one and started handing out thank you cards AT the party as the kids and parents were leaving. Some parents praised me on that idea and said they are going to start using that little trick too. I have to congratulate myself though, because I manage to get a heck of a lot done, compared to what little actually gets missed. You see, not being perfect has its perks. If you focus on what you are getting done, rather than feeling terrible about what you forgot....you end up feeling pretty good at the end of the day. My kids know that I am not perfect and I don't expect them to be. If they spill their juice, they clean it up because it's no big deal. They work on being responsible, but they are realistic as are we, about what that entails. My son knows that he should give his work his all...but some days, his all may be 50 percent capacity. Isn't that true for all of us. I have my stellar, full of energy days where I feel like I have had 20 cups of coffee and accomplish so much. Other days, I can barely manage to get through the day with getting one to two things done. Our energy levels peak and wane, so relaxing on the perfection issue can be one less pressure. I just can't keep up with the whole, perfect mom syndrome. I watch moms compete for the best dressed or brightest children contest. I refuse to compete.....way too much pressure for the kids and just plain illusion for the parents. I am proud of my 6 year old tomboy daughter with her torn, baggy jeans and her surf board motif t-shirt with probably some stains on it. What the heck, I've gotta let her be herself! If my youngest begs to wear his PJ's to school, we strike a deal and he wears his Spiderman jammie shirt with his jeans. Who can blame him? That Spiderman shirt is pretty cool! So on a good day, you might catch me with a clean car and I look pretty put together. On a crazy day, that's another story. You'll probably see me at Starbucks grabbing a Venti coffee, a little haggard from the morning, running late for work. Stacy and Clinton, from the show What Not To Wear would have crucified me today for wearing sweatpants, an over sized sweatshirt and a baseball cap to get coffee. Perfection is the illusion of the ego and a heck of a lot of pressure. Sure, there are times when striving for the best can be important, like in competitive sports, academics and eventually your career. It can motivate us to work harder and strive for our goals. Don't be too hard on yourself however and do not worry so much about what other people think. The journey through the teen years as well as your entire life is about loving who you are. It all starts with you! Overall in life and with oneself, perfection is a goal one can never really reach. It is the little secret in life I wish I had been told when I was 13. DON'T TRY TO BE PERFECT!!! Enjoy your non-perfection....bask in it and just plain enjoy being you. "The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique"....(Walt Disney).